I can’t tell you how many times someone has said ‘didn’t your first wife die from cancer”? Responding yes, I then proceed to tell them the Cliffs Notes version of 32 years ago. Then I try and share our current situation.

So what is my current situation? My current wife has cancer and my first wife died from cancer. An unusual situation I have to admit. The other truth in this situation is I am the only common denominator that these two women share. As a man of science & logic, how do you reconcile that fact?

Your mind plays funny games with you during times of trial. I’m sure you can imagine the questions I have for the man upstairs are that never-ending. How can this be happening to me again? What is it you are trying to teach me? Is there something I’m yet to do with my life that I haven’t done? How is it I’m supposed to deal the events that are unfolding again in front of me?

Somewhere in my lifetime, long, long ago, I came to the realization that I was trying to find the answers to questions that have no answers. You see, I’ve asked these same questions previously. It’s like the movie Ground Hog Day, I have been here before.

I have also felt this same love of friends and family before. Along with that love, I can also seen in people’s eyes the hurt they feel for me, the pity, the caring, and the sheer knowledge that they can’t imagine how they could endure the life I’ve had.

I find it funny that they would think that my life has been one that I have had to endure. I don’t see it that way. You always hear you really don’t know someone till you walk a mile in there shoes. OK, so here are my shoes:

• I’ve had loving parents, a mom that taught me to love & care, and a dad that taught me it’s OK for a man to cry.
• I’ve had an older brother who showed me what and what not to do as I grew up.
• I’ve received a master’s degree through hard work and perseverance.
• I’ve had 2 successful careers, public park administration, that I was formally trained in and farming, that I was taught through experience.
• I’ve parented 5 children, 3 that I fathered and 2 through marriage, all with a special place in my heart.
• I’ve loved with all my heart two uniquely different women, both with the passion & talent of the creative arts.
• I’ve had good health, good friends, and the desire to be of service to others, my church, and my community.
• I’ve come to know God and how he impacts my life and those around me.

This list is just a partial list of what I consider as the highlights of my life. If you have never spent the time to write down all that you are grateful for in your life, I challenge you to do that. It will help you see that all the challenges you have faced pale to the success & joys that you have had. My life isn’t one that I’ve endured, my life is one that I celebrate.

Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.
James 1:12